If I wrote a letter to Alyson Hannigan, I'd be getting an injunction back. That woman DOES it for me.

http://slacktivist.typepad….

Hey Hendel, how much for a blowjob?

BAMF!

You guys want to be depressed? Go read the comments for this same subject on Yahoo.com. Ugh.

The thought of "Messy Jessi" eating a Chili Bowl leads to all sorts of disgusting thoughts.

ME!! AHAHHHHHH!! I'm here to save every one of us!

But then some of you are a LOT queer.

Yeah, a real GAY king.

Except me.

Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinkerton, Pinkerton Pinkerton. Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinkerton; Pinkerton, Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinkerton! Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinkerton? Pinkerton. Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinkerton Pinkerton. Pinkerton Pinkerton - Pinkerton Pinkerton - Pinkerton…

I got that audition too. I laid my bass on the ground and started humping it with my erect wang whilst fretting with my tongue. They were impressed, but I messed up that tricky phrase in the middle of the "The Call of Ktulu" (my go-to audition piece for bass) because their drummer made eye contact with me and…

There was a FIREFIGHT!!

It's better to be MikeMartz1999.

Yeah, no knocking Weird Al. His deal may be schtick, but he's good at it. He's even gotten compliments on his rapping ability from the rappers he parodies.

Now, I want you to remember that no Weezer ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb Weezer die for his country. Men, all this stuff you've heard about Weezer not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Weezer traditionally loves to fight. …

He likes Asian girls, right? I just remember that was the one thing we had in common.

The quality of Weezer is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from Weezer
Upon the Weezer beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth Weezer that gives and Weezer that takes.
Tis mightiest in the mightiest; Weezer becomes
The throned Weezer better than his crown.
His Weezer shows the force of temporal power,
The…

I made my own 'puter out of tree bark and grubs!

I would like to let down that replicant's hair, and then listen to her play piano. Maybe not in that order.