Yep, four years later…
I just figured I'd firstie this article, four years after it was posted. My balls are your favorite flavor of ice cream.

Word on the street is that Byron does not like big butts, and he does lie about that. Jeers to Byron.

There's no better way to contract it, as far as I'm concerned.

My dick is multi-dimensional. Plus, it seems to have an affinity for big butts. About this, there can be no prevarication.

Wait, no one believes in dolphins anymore?

Hang on Dumbledore. No can do. I'm saving "Tits McGee" for my next girlfriend. She'll be all unsuspecting, and when she isn't looking, I'll file the necessary government paperwork and legally change her name. She'll never know what hit her.

My guess is that your wife didn't even realize you were catatonic. She probably just figured you were off your guard, and if ever there was a good time for landing one squarely in your junk, that was it.

Okay, so the question is what can they do shows about, if not superheroes? Someone said naked people. I agree. Naked people having sex. We can call it telepron.

My dick is in 18-D.

I might've made it, if I ate enough refried pinto beans the night before.

And I'm the guy whose family is legally obligated to roll his scrotum around in the mouths of every member of the McDorkpants dynasty, as compensation for an eons-old feud between our two clans.

Me and this dude have one thing in common:
Neither of us is satisfied with fucking chuckles. I want to fuck something better than that.

I wish I were a Starfleet Captain
If only because they get SO MUCH ALIEN BOOTY. Come on now, it's hot as hell on Vulcan; you know the ladies have to be equally fiery.

H-Town represent! Go go Space City! WOOOOO!!!

I'm a MUCH bigger fan of their earlier more guitar-oriented stuff. I was one of the only people I know who lost interest after hearing "The Soft Bulletin". "Embryonic" only brought me back because it's so weird sonically.

I'm kicking myself for not going to the Houston show. I just hate crowds and the Houston summers of humidity and blazing heat.

Right, like God's beautiful creations the tapeworm and the Hanta virus.

What's really mindbending is trying to imagine Bob Ross passionately fucking some barely legal art-groupie while pulling her hair, and exhorting her to let him "paint a happy little tree" all over her chest.

I think at this point what he really needs is to just take smaller roles in movies… show that he doesn't always have to be the Leading Man, and take some little character roles that just show up for brief parts of a movie, and then move on. Show some range, move away from being a "Hollywood Star". Eventually he'll…

I imagine it depends on the trauma. Certainly that's the point of lobotomies, I believe… to traumatize a specific part of the frontal lobe to make the patient more docile.