Alia Shawkat is DREAMY.

MelissaW, that was an engaging story.

I'm busy planning my pet bullfrog's bat mitzvah. Oy!

Bring Tha Poignancy, Bring Tha Muthafuckin Poignancy!

Don't call me Real, Asshole.

On your mom again!

I love this guy.

Frankly, I loved Missile Command and Space Raiders, and I'm not sure why I need to check out anything more recent. Those games were the shizzy.

And the shiny Fender guitars!

If he'd said it in front of a microphone and the assembled press, I would've respected the man like a GOD.

Or one set of nuts, if they're mine.

Genghis Khan and Elizabeth I ruled.

So it's safe to say you're a big fan of Dick, eh? A real Dick fanatic? Can't get enough Dick? Dick for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? You wish you could just wrap yourself up in Dick forever? Lose yourself in a world of Dick?

Someone hose that man down.

Cut ALL acceptance speeches, and instead have Neil Patrick Harris do more song-and-dance numbers.

They should just go the extra mile and install a vibrator inside the Oscar statuettes. I'm sure they're hollow; it couldn't be that much extra trouble.

I don't know why they don't just go the extra mile, and install a little vibrator inside the Oscar statuette. It's not like those things aren't hollow anyway; how hard could it be?

I'm mostly hoping this will up the insanity, even though I know most celebrities just don't have that much creativity in them, and/or are too worried about torpedoing their own careers. But yeah, Benigni and Palance are great examples of cool fun insanity to liven up the atmosphere. Now if someone would just do a…

I used to have the novelizations for Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Star Trek III, which actually explicitly stated that Saavik was half-Romulan, and got hot and heavy in the sack with David.

That sounds awesome.