My dance is the "masturbate all over everyone else" move. It clears the crowd, and I get a spotlight!

I believe David Bowie put it best, AntiSemitron:

I had my doubts, until we did a porno movie together.

And to REALLY bring you down, Ric Ocasek was NOT in fact playing a supporting role in "Remains of the Day".

Right. *I* own your wife.

Chico, that wasn't shart, it was the formation of a supernova. A SPACE ASS SUPERNOVA.

That's right! The REAL stars of this site are the ones I have tattooed on my ass to make it look like it's in space!

I pretty much mostly just come here as well. The articles are generally well-written and funny, the subject matter is varied, the commenters make me laugh, the ladies are like the finest cut Bolivian coke, the drinks are all top shelf, and the weed is strictly kind bud, like with fancy names. AVClub is the shizzinit.

Well that's what happens when you reflect on life with visionaries. I should know.

Actually, I would love to rule tits. That's my dream job.

I definitely agree about Clooney's. I could tell it was him instantly, and to me, that's not a good thing.

Did someone call my name?

Aw come on now! There ain't a thing wrong with an SG (Gibson's drop in QC notwithstanding). They're a solid rock guitar. Not as dense or sustainy as the LP, but not nearly as heavy either. I've heard plenty of great players use SGs, though maybe not the big guys who can afford so much better. But for a player who…

But from what I heard, even Tony Iommi was using P-90s in his SG for at least the first four or five Black Sabbath albums.

I will willingly rest my balls on the forehead of the first one of you who reaches through the internet and literally punches the other guy in the face.

To whomever said P-90s are the shiznit, I agree 1000% if that's statistically possible. I ping-ponged back and forth between Fender single coils and humbuckers, always a little dissatisfied with each, until I discovered P-90s, which truly are the best of both worlds.

Wait, what was that about Apatow's flagship titties?

I'm speaking of the Man Who Wasn't There, not the Ladykillers. I never saw that one, no suh.

You gonna eat that?

Yeah, but then Exorcist III is pretty great, even if it's not quite an easy movie to categorize.