I know, right? It was NPR's fault for being in Mississippi in the first place!

…if Nixon weren't actually elected president, had a better haircut and smile and fucked women instead of himself.

Also, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre combined with most of the places I've lived represents probably my biggest pop culture-induced fear: psychotic hicks. Seriously…I'd rather drive through the roughest, most gang-ridden neighborhood in the much-maligned "Inner City" than be alone in the middle of Hicksville…day or…

The day after I was terrified by The Day After, some kid came to school and said his dad told him the Russians had tons of missiles pointing right at us and "it" could happen at any time. So I went to the bathroom to cry. That was an awesome day.

Mmmm…cheeseburger smoothie…

Mr. VON Salsa, if that is your real name!!

I was actually thinking of another show…my apologies. I actually liked both versions of Dark Shadows better than the show I actually was thinking of, however.

HBO movies all go to "11." It's why they have a test pattern as their logo…they knocked the fucking power out!

Not if it was Strom Thurmond…

It wasn't THAT bad…not like the original was any sort of masterpiece, either (see TransducerX's comments). The production values were typically low, but it's good enough for a post-surgery marathon…with or without the drugs!

Warning
This seems as good a place as any to post this:

Can't fix the car without a whole lotta milka…

Pants!

What's wrong, Nina?

…or your little brother would find your stash and drown himself in your family's pool.

*hands Leonard a poorly-folded origami box*

No gloves…just nailguns.

Please stop saying "more intolerable."

So remember: if you want your fucking package delivered on time, choose Fleeting Expletives!

Not only don't you get fucked, Charlie, you have to punch YOURSELF in the face.