1.) I think I speak for a lot of guys when I say that I only buy flowers for a chick if she is dead or I want to get in her sweet, sweet pussy.

1.) I think I speak for a lot of guys when I say that I only buy flowers for a chick if she is dead or I want to get in her sweet, sweet pussy.

1.) My mom's not safe, unless you wear a johnnysack when you do her.

1.) My mom's not safe, unless you wear a johnnysack when you do her.

1.) I bet he just wants to get into her pants.

1.) I bet he just wants to get into her pants.

1.) Speaking of boobs, I was looking at those Princess Kate vacation photos and found myself feeling bad for the lass: she's got quite a nice pair, but they are indeed much paler than the surrounding skin, thus the need for her to let them fly free and get some sun. So I don't think her nudity was gratuitous and crude…

1.) Speaking of boobs, I was looking at those Princess Kate vacation photos and found myself feeling bad for the lass: she's got quite a nice pair, but they are indeed much paler than the surrounding skin, thus the need for her to let them fly free and get some sun. So I don't think her nudity was gratuitous and crude…

1.) This is just great. Now who is going to manage the fucking Cinnabon?

1.) This is just great. Now who is going to manage the fucking Cinnabon?

1.) I think all of us, at one point or another, have perchance peered in the toilet prior to flushing and thought, "Hey, that's the corn I ate last night."

1.) I think all of us, at one point or another, have perchance peered in the toilet prior to flushing and thought, "Hey, that's the corn I ate last night."

1.) This just gets better and better.

1.) This just gets better and better.

1.) Her reprisal of her twin roles in my XXX remake of The Parent Trap may very well net her an Oscar.

1.) Her reprisal of her twin roles in my XXX remake of The Parent Trap may very well net her an Oscar.

1.) In Palmer's defense, I watched that video she did with the Flaming Lips, and she has really great tits.

1.) In Palmer's defense, I watched that video she did with the Flaming Lips, and she has really great tits.

1.) Yeah, it is sort of like Newsflash: Farts smell like poop.

1.) Yeah, it is sort of like Newsflash: Farts smell like poop.