All I wanna do is [bang bang bang bang] poke a ridah

You can kill them in a house
You can kill them with a mouse
You can kill them in a box
You can kill them with a fox
You can kill them singing chanteys
Kill them all, Pat McCrory's Panties!

I got a Tim Conway/Dorf notification for this?!?

"Thank you for using Lyft… if you were happy with your service, please use the app and tell me how my ass tastes"

He comes and silently whispers, "When you said you were going to wash up on shore, I thought you meant taking a shower back at home…"

and once a year, Gentle Herpes re-enacts "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" dressed as JFK!

I love how the lead werewolf guy says that, and then later tells one of his pack to "fuck off to a tree"

Frank Sinatra: Next issue: this crap with M-TV. With the nudity and all. What is this crap? Sinbad O'Connor.

[Beginning of movie, Mark Wahlberg punches valve, starts oil leak]

It's not that I don't know it…

Dennis Franz Burlesque Night

*Paul Simon angrily tweets "SHHHHHH!" to Buster Rhymes*

He's like the "Gerry Cooney" of the NBA

Supertrain

Scream (If You Remember When MTV Showed Music Videos)

The (Tiny) Man (Hands) Show

…and then falls down and loses a finger

…a backdoor to self-glorification…

Things to do in Denver when you're with Shia LaBeouf -

"If you travel with Shia LeBeouf and you come to a fork in the road, stick the fork in him"