"As you can see right here in this pie chart…

JET FUEL CAN'T MELT POLYESTER PANTSUITS!

[Dick Cheney, in a dream where he actually was President,
instead of Shadow President]

Ted Nugent, Ray Stevens, and Trump's sons, dressed up in
little Uncle Sam outfits

I heard on "Air Trump One", he secretly watches
From Justin To Kelly on a loop

See, here's the difference between frugal shoppers, and the masses…

Also, the bickering roomates comedy/drama I'm Rubber, You're Glue

[shaggy, bearded Michael Palin staggers through overgrown forest]

What's all this FUSS I keep hearing… about topping pastries?

[Ben Affleck angrily plots sequel to Gigli]

TV Executive: So, we need to cut down on our CGI budget, so we're thinking Ghost Rider can just ride a defective Hoverboard, and the flames will come from his feet, instead of his head!

Take two Alka Seltzer®!

Trump University

six feet

Antichrist: I don't have to listen to you… you're not my real dad!

I'm waiting for the "Boogie Nights in the People's Court world" where Burt Reynolds plays Wapner, and Heather Graham is Doug Llewelyn

Sometimes when they touch,
the honesty's too much
and they have to close their eyes
and hide

"HEADLESS MURRAY IN TOPLESS BAR"

Vincent D'Onofrio turned into Pruitt Taylor Vince so subtly, I never even noticed!

To call Greg Gutfeld a clown is an insult to real clowns…
This guy should work for Black & Decker, because he's a tool…