My brothers took me out to a hooker for my 16th birthday but we couldn't come up with enough money so we had to settle for a fur-trimmed unicycle.

Well in the CSA, they used the Constitution…

I think the cockpit was made for that, or they wouldn't have called it that.

Do I…it's all you would talk about! You were all like "Jenna is so cool and Eastern Philosophy" and we were all like "I just want my large fries, man."

It think it would have been even more dramatic…
If Fox thought even the descriptions were too bawdy and censored them all out.

Or Bill Buckner.

Frequent Oral X-Rays?

Hey ladies! Who ordered plantains!

I saw a man with a protest sign after the Mohammed cartoon brouhaha that said:

Not one person on here would turn down a lay from one of Beyonce's lookalikes. Don't lie to yourselves.

Nummy, are you all right? Sure?

Moe from the three stooges looks like Frank Costanza right after he described his "move"

I wholeheartedly endorse the tears for Hoosiers. I came from a small school who would never be able to compete with those big-city schools, and the starkness of the winter landscape with the desperation of their fans…and (SPOILER) they still put it off.

Seriously, though, the SNL "Vinny Videcci" skit with him was pretty funny.

Not to burst your bubble, Frogurt, but where you got shot, it didn't matter if the arrow was on fire or not.

Just stay away from the red door. Yeeesh!

-people in business suits slipping on an icy sidewalk

"Frank"ly, it wasn't the "wurst" I've heard.

My dad was on the school board when I was in elementary school. While they were meeting to discuss where to come up with the money to replace the roof in the elementary, a tornado came and ripped the roof off. Hello, insurance!

I have a Pat Listach rookie card, bitches!