Somehow I watched that whole video
And, like all of her songs, it's completely out of my mind immediately. I don't understand — or rather, I'm physically incapable of understanding — how people find it catchy or good. I can't say I don't like it, but it's like a ghost sound to me — there's noise and then it's gone,…

Jesus, people. Mayo is eggs, oil, vinegar, and spices, and because we're AMURIKUH, high fructose corn syrup. Stop being such fucking babies.

GeoX, Advent Children did pretty well fiscally and average review-wise. I know they were just complaining about metacritic above, but for reference, it's got an 88 on metacritic (although a 33 on rottentomatoes, hah), but more importantly, it sold 1.4 million copies of the DVD and UMD.

I always thought it was just her parents (well, one of them, anyways) that covered that for her. She doesn't strike me as the responsible type.

shocking news
So the entire studio process is a mystery to me, I guess, because I didn't hear that the license had been bought, I didn't hear that Uwe Boll was going to make a Far Cry movie, I didn't hear that the movie was released in theatres (was it?), I didn't hear that the movie tanked, and I didn't hear that the…

Company Mascots
You know, I was going to say something about Lindsay Lohan being a terrible spokesperson for anything but Bud or Miller or whatever pisswater people drink nowadays, but eTrade is horrible enough that it might even help.

Lance Henrikson as Abe is the most inspired bit of casting I've ever heard. Kudos.

Abbot and Costello meet Zachary Taylor

Are you saying that he's a pedophile, or that kids these days are idiots?

I hope you get blown up, toute de suite.

Mikey B: My only goal in life is blocking firsties.

I don't know if the "I pee myself" commercial is worse than the erectile dysfunction commercials. At least this is…. edifying? Edihorrifying. Horriedifying. LOOK, I'm going to have nightmares about Whoopi Goldberg's whoopie just stone-cold spraying everywhere. I'm going to need to seek counseling.

I think I
spritzed myself reading this. I hate commercials that talk about medical problems.

WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!

Also, I apologize for saying "fro-yo", instead of the full standard nomenclature "Frozen Yog(h)urt". It was completely unintentional, a result of my mad dash for a firstie.

cupcakes are the new muffintops or fro-yo
seriously, keep it going. Cupcakes are friggin' delicious.

Campbell is the one that came up with the "monomyth"!

oh, I know. I just think it's hilarious how much dogs love that. By that logic, you should just name a dog "poop" and get it over with.

Foursquare is not passe, it's dangerous.

my dogs won't shut up
and I wouldn't buy this if my life depended on it. I don't need a tweet every 30 seconds about how bad they feel because I locked them in their crate, I already know because of the barking.