The video featured Ron Jeremy so how could it no be acceptable?

Hey, what's that one Sublime that's about parties and doing drugs?

He looks like the lesbian version of Tom Selleck. 

Well, thank you for the compliment. You would not believe the amount of money I had to invest in these cats (almost five dollars)! Apparently, after a night of feline love making, they get really hungry for spaghettio's.

I host a weekly podcast that I try to get around to once every few months.

Or Americans are too important to be seen on a British TV show, BRITISH!

Hey, I'm stoned too! What are you on?

Every time I watch Boardwalk Empire, I'm waiting for Shooter to pull the smoking guns out. 

The Beach Boys stole my shtick! I don't care if they came before me, they stole my shtick! 

Why sleep? What I typically do is rail some adderall, hit the bong, watch a couple hours of Ren & Stimpy, then comeback to post on the AV Club.

All I wanna know is when we're finally gonna get a Scorpions reunion tour!

If anybody's interested, I'll be doing a duet album with andrea bocelli. It's going to be a sort of punk horrorcore mixed with house music.

What's wrong with that? The only reason I play music is to fuel my raging whippets addiction…

I thought you wrote Kid's Bop. I'm still pissed they haven't covered my song, "Let's Get Drunk and Screw"

I was forced to sell my TV to buy an 8Ball but that doesn't mean I can't pirate American Dad off the internet…

I see what you did there

NBC is a fucked up network, lemme tell ya.

I don't know, American Pie 17 looks pretty good. 

This movie is going to revolutionize cinema. There's going to a total absence of any main protagonist until somebody spots him at the very end.

@avclub-eb573591cef285c12701571987b08381:disqus is that a fecal matter innuendo?