Ned, there's an oil stain in the parking lot that looks just like Jason Mewes.

Give it time.

Sons of Fëanor: First Class

Hang on, it gets even more convoluted than that. The average Mirkwood and Lothlorien elves aren't Sindar, but their relatives who started westward but turned aside before making it to the shores of Beleriand. Some of those did eventually head west again (Nandor?) and reunited with the Sindar, but others stayed in the…

Something with a J, yeah—I think that's how it's spelled. One kills the Druid Allanon (whyyy do i remember this) and another shows up as the reason to separate Jax from the hero kid for Dramatic Tension because fighting this monster-thing was the fight he'd been preparing his whole life for.

That was my experience, too—I found Heritage immediately after
finishing LotR, and enjoyed it a lot at the time. By the time I worked
back to the original books, I knew enough to notice where the seams were
showing.

Yes, that would be Wishsong with Super Awesome Badass Garrett Jax the Weapons Master, who could totally beat up Aragorn and Conan and Zorro andandand, um, and Snake-Eyes!

They pass through a ruined modern city and get attacked by a robot/cyborg spider-thing in the first book.

This is the single best comment to this article. Unrelated and thoroughly delightful.

Well, can you blame me? You don't seem to know how debates work and you're misinformed about so much else; ergo, I can but assume you are a moron.

Listen, not to brag, but the time that spambot gained sentience in Ignatiy's review of the Jem movie and cursed me out—when it was deleted, a lot of the wit in my witheringly dry response was lost in the aether.

Godwin's Law isn't applicable when the topic of debate is actually Nazism. Similarly, your proposed Appeal to Misogyny "Fallacy" and proposed informal rule—let's call it "Moron's Law," in honor of its proponent—would not be applicable when the topic of debate is actually misogyny.

That's… not how debates work.

No worries. You want "cretin."

Not at all. Pray do not let me detain you further from reorganizing the deck chairs on the Titanic.

… inhabitants of Crete?

Ah yes, gender equality in Selective Service… Truly, that has been the preeminent social issue of our time.

All I know is, if you hide a cucumber* behind them when they're eating, it's hi-goddamn-larious.

… I need to reevaluate my weekend and/or career plans.

Sebastian Moran.