Like most everyone else here, my weekend started Wednesday night as I and 4 of my friends ventured into the city to attend the Suicide Girl's Blackheart Burlesque at the House of Blues. We made it Chicago ahead of the start time, so we got some grub at Dick's Last Resort, which helped to kick off a fun evening. The…

She knew how to smack balls, though.

I'm willing to admit I was wrong for my joke and will watch curling closely during the upcoming Winter Olympics. So, to you, and the rest of the AVC commentariat, I thank you.

No offense to sports that are booze-friendly. Resume drinking whilst people push a broom. Would a team consisting of janitors be considered ringers?

To be sure. After all, it did sweep the world by storm.

Everything in Ron Burgundy's voice is good. It always goes down smooth.

To be fair, you can make up any random fact about Canada, and 60% of the time, all of America will believe it.

Who's downvoting? Huh? Show yourself! Is this Wilt Chamberlin?!

Curling is for little sissy boys.

Eventually, he will just re-enact the entire film in some sort of strange performance-art accompanied by jazz flute.

But he's at least living up to his username.

Anonymous sex with beautiful women and to fall ass-backwards into money. If only my life were a fantasy camp. Though, I'd definitely punch Mickey Mantle in the face. He had it coming.

It's at the entrance of the airport when you exit the highway. The eyes are supposed to be orange, but it's so fucking demonic they appear blood red and glow. At night, it's just a nightmare (no pun intended) come to life.

It's like urban legends: too outlandish to ever be real, but fun to think about. I'm sure there is a bunker under the airport. But I bet it's full of snakes…why did it have to be snakes?

His idea for a "vacation" was to sit around in his underwear eating a block of cheese. If that's not psychopathy, I'm doing it wrong.

The way Denver and it's suburbs are laid out, everything is a good distance away from each other. It's not congested like Chicago, all choked up with traffic and little more real estate.

I do jack shit everyday, so, nothing new.

Fun fact about that hell-horse: It fell upon and killed the sculptor once he was finished.

I love hearing the theories about Denver International. I've flown in and out of there anytime I visit my sister in Denver, and, I can tell you that there's no other place to put an airport closer to the city. It is a pretty large airport, but, then again, it is an INTERNATIONAL. To me, I thought it strange that it…

We're through the looking-glass here, people.