*Ack Ack submits audition tape to play the trumpet*

I just want them to get to the good part, where Aldrin starts beating up idiots who think the whole thing was a conspiracy.

Haven't heard of Buffalo Trace - I'm from Toronto, and all of our booze is purchased at the LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario). They don't always have the best selection, but it looks like if I'm willing to go downtown, I can find a few bottles (although it's pricier than most bourbons available).

And Baby Groot for when you need to move merchandise.

Given that their natural habitats are fields of molten lava, I don't think that a fireball would be effective. Freezing may be appropriate (but who am I to suggest such things to the Archmage?).

Great live band. I think it's my fourth time seeing them - their new album was a bit of a step down from their previous efforts, but it should still be a great show.

I used to manage benefits for General Motors in the U.S. - I once spoke to a person who had good union benefits and whose daughter had cancer. They did what they could under the plan, but there was a lot that wasn't covered. They mortgaged and then sold their house, depleted their 401k, and were begging me to do…

You don't have to sell me on unions - I manage union benefits for a living, but in Canada. Our members have great benefits, but also the added benefit of not having to worry about paying medical bills if they happen to lose their jobs, or don't work for a period of time.

It takes a Better Man than me to be so selfless, and to risk your life to ensure someone else stays Alive.

Or America could get off of its dumbshit ass and get socialized medicine like every other modern country.

It is not a Christmas sweater. It's a nice Penndletons's cardigan. Part of my slow transition to becoming Mr. Rogers.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself. — A 100% original Ack Ack quote, not stolen

I've actually broken up with a girl before because she wasn't into having her ass eaten at all, and that's pretty much all I wanted to do to her. This woman is dating the wrong men.

A whole lotta milka.

Someone sent me their bank statement today to prove that they had been receiving disability payments from the Canada Pension Plan. The statement showed not only that, but that the day before they got the payment, they spent $45 at Cinnabon.

They don't actually baptize a corpse. A person does it and they say (for example) "Ack Ack Aloysius Arbunkle, I baptize you in the name of James Brown, who is dead, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost." Dunk person in giant baptismal font, repeat 14 times and you're done.

The movie is called "First Contact: Lost Tribe of the Amazons". It's obvious that their societal structure is quite a bit different than ours - they appear to have a bit more of a communal society, since they just break shit and take stuff - it's also a very patriarchal society, with women being treated like property.

I remember sitting in the theatre watching that scene, thinking it was the darkest story I had ever heard and I immediately fell in love with the movie - I may have to sub out one of the Shane Black movies I was going to watch to night for this one.

Damnit!

Kevin McAllister grew up to be The Jigsaw Killer.