Some little spaz stabbed me in the hand with a pencil when I was in grade 2. I can still see the graphite tip underneath the skin. I don't even remember who stabbed me, but I hope that they're miserable this holiday season.

If you liked Alan Wake, I recommend Quantum Break - same developers and a similar universe with a pretty engaging story line.

You can build a turret directly onto the payload, provided you can hop up there without getting shot. And if you set up a turret close to an objective it'll often go unnoticed. He's not a utility player, but I make him work.

Poor Joseph Smith - died way too young after getting shot and falling from a roof during a prison escape. Just like Jesus.

We got rid of pennies years ago. You're being suckered into thinking they're important thanks to the zinc lobby. I wish that was a joke, but nope. It's a dumb ol' fact.

I thought they got locked up for playing in a church. One of the exciting new freedoms that America can look forward to under their new президент.

I heard that Trump was trying hard to get Sha Na Na to play, but is now hoping to get Na Sha Sha to perform instead, after Bowser gave him a hard pass.

That would give his bff Vlad a giant sad, unless Pussy Riot have changed their stance on authoritarian regimes. BUT it would fit in with Trump's habit of being highly contradictory in everything he says and does.

We're only turning 150 next year, so we're still learning how to be awful and destroy the foundations our country was built on. We'll get there though!!

It was estimated that the initial swing in opinion due to Comey cost Clinton 4.5% of the vote, and that it settled to .5% of the electorate having their opinion swayed. So, yup - Comey's interference cost Clinton the election.

I've just purchased Alan Carr's Stop Smoking, on the Twitter advise of Paul F. Tompkins. I've heard good things about it, and plan on reading it next week. Apparently, it's pretty effective. So is Champex (don't know American name of it).

Watch The Holy Grail. Sir Lancelot the Brave will help.

I've been trying online dating for a while now, and I'm completely hopeless at it. I'm reasonably sure I've got a witty profile and some pictures where I look half decent, but I've yet to make a single connection with anyone.

I've got the ingredients ready for my favourite winter drink - scotch and Drambuie, which makes the wonderfully warming Rusty Nail.

And fuck all the people who accused Brendon Cox of 'using his wife's murder to score political points', when all he did was call Farange out for making blanket statements about the motivation for extremists and saying it was a slippery slope.

When I was in university, I had a girlfriend that wore Jean Nate, which I had previously associated with elderly women. She also kept a handkerchief stuffed up the sleeves of her sweaters. She's a professor now, not surprisingly.

The scene in the bathroom stall was pretty brilliant physical comedy by Gosling - very surprising coming from someone I'd usually classify as 'dour', and extremely funny.

Agreed with SuperHOT - such a clever mechanic, and it was so satisfying when you got to watch the replay of walking into a room and kicking a serious amount of ass.

I can't even view the 12 Days of Bacon on my computer. I open it up every day, hoping to get drawn into the delicious world of Hormel Bacon, but am stymied due to a combination of browser issues and my work computer. I'll never know what magic lies in the world of Hormel meats. Also, as a Canadian, we don't get…

You mean after he initiated a multi-trillion dollar war based on fabricated lies and tanked the economy?