Philately will get you nowhere!

The next place he robs better have a ramp!

Curse the man who discovered helium! Curse Pierre Cesar Jules Janssen!

You make a good point.

We will decide which is the greatest nation on earth! Mexico! or Portugal!

(Sigh) Look, we can't be everywhere… "policing" the whole city.

It's actually pretty hard to find unfunny quotes in Season 5 Simpsons.

Oh man, it's getting harder and harder to get here by 10!

The bite marks and the cape lead us to believe that this was caused by some sort of supernatural creature… most likely a mummy.

You shot who in the what now?

Is that an H with a bar through it?

"It was naive of you to think I would mistake our town's most famous 104-year-old man for one of my own elementary school students."

This is a slight digression, but:

He's also a big hockey fan, and has a French last name. I don't blame people for being confused.

Bentley, by any chance? I lived there when I was 1 year old.

As a Canadian living in the US, I sometimes dislike the pretend Canadian accents that are affected by actors, but I really liked the guy with the mullet who was one of Robin's ex-boyfriends  that Barney questioned.

Are you a Dobler or a Dahmer?

How do you keep up with the news like that?

For me, it's not that GoDaddy's commercials are the most sexist ever. It's more like they're just mildly sexist, but they are mildly sexist in the most lowbrow and unsubtle way possible.

Wow, "XXX Rock" is really clever. It took me some time to really "get" that.