Pretty brave of McConnell to announce he's bringing Nick Gruber as his plus one.

Pretty brave of McConnell to announce he's bringing Nick Gruber as his plus one.

Can I pick the personalized message?  If so, I'd like him to read "The Life and Opinions of the Tomcat Murr" in the voice of adolescent 1880s Liverpool chimney sweep  (with coughing).

Can I pick the personalized message?  If so, I'd like him to read "The Life and Opinions of the Tomcat Murr" in the voice of adolescent 1880s Liverpool chimney sweep  (with coughing).

I read the spec script for this.  ***SPOILER ALERT***  They pursue the truth on Rascal scooters so Beck's audience doesn't get tired.

I read the spec script for this.  ***SPOILER ALERT***  They pursue the truth on Rascal scooters so Beck's audience doesn't get tired.

Perhaps his schtick is "black comedy" in the same way that Larry the Cable Guy's schtick is "white comedy," meaning that both play to (and are/were rewarded by) the lowest common denominator of comedy audiences (mouth-breathers who like to be fed predictable caricatures).  At least that's what his bitches say! …

Perhaps his schtick is "black comedy" in the same way that Larry the Cable Guy's schtick is "white comedy," meaning that both play to (and are/were rewarded by) the lowest common denominator of comedy audiences (mouth-breathers who like to be fed predictable caricatures).  At least that's what his bitches say! …

There's something really disconcerting about that photo, but I can't put my finger on it.  Does he look like someone wearing a Will Oldham costume who also happens to be Will Oldham?  Is it the strawberry blonde eyebrows?  The luxuriant beard?  I dig this cat like a mofo, but that pic will haunt me for weeks.

There's something really disconcerting about that photo, but I can't put my finger on it.  Does he look like someone wearing a Will Oldham costume who also happens to be Will Oldham?  Is it the strawberry blonde eyebrows?  The luxuriant beard?  I dig this cat like a mofo, but that pic will haunt me for weeks.

Sorry, Will, but I am straight ADDICTED to "Lot Lizard" by Givenchy and LeAnn Rimes.  It opens with a punch of petitgrain, lavender and clary sage before settling into a deep musk with hints of meth and desperation.

Sorry, Will, but I am straight ADDICTED to "Lot Lizard" by Givenchy and LeAnn Rimes.  It opens with a punch of petitgrain, lavender and clary sage before settling into a deep musk with hints of meth and desperation.

"So, Bro, does the whole internet count as one dis track or is each remark a dis track on its own?  I wanna know how much studio time I'm gonna need."

"So, Bro, does the whole internet count as one dis track or is each remark a dis track on its own?  I wanna know how much studio time I'm gonna need."

Looking at her old Guess ads, I see no reason for embarrassment. 

Looking at her old Guess ads, I see no reason for embarrassment. 

"Just seeds and stems, brah.  Total.  Fuckin.'  Bummer.  But I did get to feel up Geena Davis, like, 75 times."

"Just seeds and stems, brah.  Total.  Fuckin.'  Bummer.  But I did get to feel up Geena Davis, like, 75 times."

As a HUGE fan of the Buffalo Bills and The Naked Gun movies, I'd be mega-bummed if O.J. Simpson ever sullied his good name.  

As a HUGE fan of the Buffalo Bills and The Naked Gun movies, I'd be mega-bummed if O.J. Simpson ever sullied his good name.