My sons, Cain and Abel (we're a big "Biblical name" family), will be so excited!  I guess my girls, Sodom and Gomorrah, will have to wait for their time in the sun.

My sons, Cain and Abel (we're a big "Biblical name" family), will be so excited!  I guess my girls, Sodom and Gomorrah, will have to wait for their time in the sun.

Axel, Sr.: Who's your new friend? She has a cute Adam's apple.
Axel, Jr.: C'mon, Pop. You know damn well I was just [Axel, Sr. and Axel, Jr. together] GIVING HER A RIDE!
[laughtrack]

Axel, Sr.: Who's your new friend? She has a cute Adam's apple.
Axel, Jr.: C'mon, Pop. You know damn well I was just [Axel, Sr. and Axel, Jr. together] GIVING HER A RIDE!
[laughtrack]

I actually loved Bonk and thought it was cool and original until I watched the first level on YouTube five minutes ago and realized it was just "Alopecia Caveman Super Mario."

I actually loved Bonk and thought it was cool and original until I watched the first level on YouTube five minutes ago and realized it was just "Alopecia Caveman Super Mario."

As a former TurboGrafx-16 owner, I find your Genesis envy laughable (just as my friends found my "Let's go to my house and play 'Bonk the Caveman'" invitations in 1990).

As a former TurboGrafx-16 owner, I find your Genesis envy laughable (just as my friends found my "Let's go to my house and play 'Bonk the Caveman'" invitations in 1990).

In Ukraine, indoctrinated children suck liquids from sponge!

In Ukraine, indoctrinated children suck liquids from sponge!

I was actually at the concert in Jacksonville in 2001 when the band stopped moving and went silent, and an unfamiliar voice said "I have to go now. My planet needs me" as Fred Durst was seemingly lifted off the stage into the ether.

I was actually at the concert in Jacksonville in 2001 when the band stopped moving and went silent, and an unfamiliar voice said "I have to go now. My planet needs me" as Fred Durst was seemingly lifted off the stage into the ether.

Robert Shaw was so tough, he actually produced grizzled semen.

Robert Shaw was so tough, he actually produced grizzled semen.

Sorry, Scorsese.  A hot, young talent in Philly is totally occupying the Sinatra space for the next generation.

Sorry, Scorsese.  A hot, young talent in Philly is totally occupying the Sinatra space for the next generation.

Fight the power, ICP!  The Feds tried this same shit with my clique, but we smacked them FBI bitches in their collective mouth with a federal lawsuit (ClayManiacs.com v. Mueller).

Fight the power, ICP!  The Feds tried this same shit with my clique, but we smacked them FBI bitches in their collective mouth with a federal lawsuit (ClayManiacs.com v. Mueller).

Robert Duvall:  . . . nothing else in the world smells like that!
Wesley Snipes:  Oh Jesus God?!?!  Have you tried Prilosec?

Robert Duvall:  . . . nothing else in the world smells like that!
Wesley Snipes:  Oh Jesus God?!?!  Have you tried Prilosec?