Four kids.

Four kids.

It's like The Wiz without all the annoying talent and precedent worth re-visiting! 

It's like The Wiz without all the annoying talent and precedent worth re-visiting! 

***SPOILER ALERT***

***SPOILER ALERT***

Matthew McConaughey (in 1997):  Swear ta God, y'all, soon as my savin's account hits nine digits, I'm gonna make some real fuckin' art an' shit.  Y'all jus' wait an' see.
All critics (in 2012):  The artiste has returned!!! Beautiful and talented!!!  Nom nom nom.

Matthew McConaughey (in 1997):  Swear ta God, y'all, soon as my savin's account hits nine digits, I'm gonna make some real fuckin' art an' shit.  Y'all jus' wait an' see.
All critics (in 2012):  The artiste has returned!!! Beautiful and talented!!!  Nom nom nom.

I think we can all agree that O'Neal's breezy jokes about something serious are worse than 9/11 and pediatric AIDS.

I think we can all agree that O'Neal's breezy jokes about something serious are worse than 9/11 and pediatric AIDS.

Atom:  . . . and Ryan's such a cool dude.  I don't feel like I just hired an actor; I really Rogaine'd a friend.
Ryan:  [smirks, squints, deflates]

Atom:  . . . and Ryan's such a cool dude.  I don't feel like I just hired an actor; I really Rogaine'd a friend.
Ryan:  [smirks, squints, deflates]

"You two call that provocative, slow, sweaty stripping?  Watch and learn."

"You two call that provocative, slow, sweaty stripping?  Watch and learn."

So, you find PG-13 remakes to be sexually charged pitch perfect entertainment?

So, you find PG-13 remakes to be sexually charged pitch perfect entertainment?

"My operating system is outdated in connection with this fecal matter."

"My operating system is outdated in connection with this fecal matter."

"several brief-but-frank masturbation scenes"

"several brief-but-frank masturbation scenes"