Who needs to be fit when you can be wiley?

And the suit bag doubles as a body bag.  The cedar hanger helps the smell.

Caption: "And sometimes the frier just doesn't have the right flavor, you know that certain something.  That's when I add in my secret ingredient - freshly picked ear wax!"

Why does everyone keep calling my stuff 'shit'?  It's not shit, it stuff!

@Burl Fra-gee-lay.  Must be French!

I have a buddy who had a high school girl in his class named Shithead.  Said, 'Sheh-theed'.  Seriously.

Seriously.  Broomfield and the 1st Bank Center?  They can do better than that!

Just cut her in four.

@avclub-8f09b270dacd2e783d0c25f669670902:disqus I used to work with a guy that was all about the chicks with dicks thing but was kind of homophobic.  He refused to listen when I told him it wasn't really chicks with dicks, but more like dudes with tits.

Ah, to be young, self-absorbed, and self-destructive again…  Those were the days!

I think Google Glass is a great idea!  It'll help me to sort out the assholes easier!

There's always the tapeworm.  Shot of tequila and a squirt of mayonnaise.  Perfect drink for 21-year-olds that are being assholes about their 'free shot, 'cause it's my birthday!'

That second photo is really messing me up.  The tall ceiling, large cabinet and oversized table are making it hard for me to not imagine the human in the picture isn't just really short.

Tan is good, brown is bad.

[Thrown in slammer]

This makes me feel old.  I don't remember what it was about, but I remember bits and pieces.  'The Goodbye Girl'.  At a drive-in.

Me think bigfoot and cookie monster be cousins.

@avclub-4602fc349ffc0ad649190e937f2a5f14:disqus I thought it was because of their tiny little hands.

@avclub-21a8615938a206d4311a58a53ad8890e:disqus I am afraid of nuclear war.  I will duck and cover.

That's what I think Roy Blunt Jr. would look like.