"There isn't some industry of idiot-reinforcing junk portraying a beaver standing mightily upon an impenetrable dam with a rippling maple leaf in the background."
I'm working on it right now.

It can be 3 things! Hell, it can be 5 things! Where's the cocaine?!

Boo this man!

¡Ay Dios mio!

Hey, even the saddest wankfest is still a fest! Where's the funnel cake stand?

Burglar, burglar; why burglarizeth thou me?

Yea-YEAEH

There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil. And then the murders began.

I was going to do this one, but it kinda validates the statement about it working best with a third-person narrator.

I mean, that's pretty much how it's already written.

He'd probably walk across a frozen lake and then claim it's proof that global warming is fake.

Frankly, and Miz's WM appearance as well.

There are Fists. They Fight.

Because Conway put her feet on the couch. Some sins are unpardonable.

It DOESN'T MATTER what the TRUTH is!

Johnny Cash

I don't know, whenever I've watched any of Rachael Ray's show[s], she seems under the impression that making a sandwich counts as cooking.

"get out of your bubble" isn't the same as "take a tour of every other bubble"

Out of legitimate curiosity, how? Not even getting into policies, but how has his consistent utter childishness so far not turned off even people who voted for him?

Just sayin', in that first photo she looks like the McDonald's manager just told her the shake machine is down.