What would MacGyver do?

But it's not endearingly lame and cheesy like Terra Nova or something, it's just brutal.  It's all pandering.  The kind of hacky, lowest-common-denominator, easy jokes that are focus group tested to please Middle America.  It's so flat, trite, forced and "safe" that it pretty much proves the people who watch it simply…

I'm Sorry That I Got Fat, I Will Slim Down

What "new-age" theater is this?

Disregard.

Thank God not as many jackasses turned out to bray during Jack & Jill as expected and it never got to number 1.  I was so happy when it turned out to be a relative failure.

Right, exactly.  So this all kind of proves my point that theater chains could increase ticket sales by banning cell phones altogether instead of giving their own fucking mezzanine.  It always boggled me that theater chains seemed to have a policy of tolerating obnoxious patrons rather than expelling them.  As if they…

Would you care for an apple segment?

The $80 million box office hit will blow you through the back of the theater!

I don't understand.  I know a lot of people that stopped going to the movies because of people on their phones.  They just built a nice home theater instead.  Are theater chains assuming more people would stop coming if they banned cell phones during the film?  Are they not aware of how many people would return to…

Not really.  But yes, he's all those things.

I've never heard it was the choice of the filmmakers.  In every instance I've heard of it happening, the actress was either all holier-than-thou or just really, really insecure.  Like, body dismorphia insecure.  Here's a bunch of qoutes from hotties over why they never do it:

What about that Polaroid in Forgetting Sarah Marshall?  That was Photoshop? The fuck?

Yes, but she never used a body double.  I don't think she ever had a nude scene that required one.  Even in Pretty Woman, I think they only showed them under bed sheets.

Yep, it was Joe the Plumber who made it socially acceptable to be an ignorant hick who uses "socialist" as a catch-all insult for people with differing political ideologies.

Fox News thought Jenkem was a real threat to the nations's youth.  I've lost count of how many times they've taken meme's right off 4chan and treated them as news.

Thanks to 4chan, a whole generation thinks of diabetes as a big beetus joke.

I remember it showing up on a lot of "worst movies ever" lists until things like the IMDb Bottom 100 gave a little more perspective.  It may not be egregiously awful, but it's definitely a Tarantino rip off that doesn't make much sense.

I am a teenager, after all.

I can't imagine how "enhanced" you'd have to be to enjoy that.  Better break out "Ultra Bong 5000".  Stands 4 feet tall with ice shelves along the smoke chamber.