So, so close, DA. Insert the name Mugsy Bogues and you've got comedy gold.

I finally had to ban 'em from my joint or there would have been a staff revolt. Little fuckers just will not tip.

Yeah, fair enough Ells, we get it, Curtis has better hair than you. But, seriously, he would have looked less goofy just folding up a handkerchief and walking around like a Python village idiot than he did in that lid.

In fairness, there was never any proof that he was taking any performance enhancing drugs. Like most NBA players, he just self-medicated with a bit of grass. It is pretty hard to defend the way he treated his bitch, though.

Masters of Horror
While I didn't see every installment of this anthology series, of the half dozen or so that I did catch, Carpenter's "Cigarette Burns" was, by a wide margin, the best of the lot. In fact, it wasn't just good for a 'Masters of Horror' episode , it was a damned fine horror short-film, all the way…

Not sure which order they're airing in America
But I've seen a couple of these, so far. The 'Oceans' one is outstanding. The (beautifully filmed) risks that some of those people go through to put food on the table are almost beyond belief. The 'Deserts' episode, I thought, paled by comparison. Part of that can be…

Knit condoms are both comfortable AND sexy. They do tend to result in a fair amount of child support, though.

Troyer words were never spoken.

'The Hold Steady'? Boring? Good day, sir.

I downloaded the Evil Angel production. Powerful stuff, indeed. I'm not ashamed to admit that the MMF scene had me reaching for a kleenex.

Good question, IP. Maybe an 'AIDS quilt' isn't what I always thought it was.

I could see where you might think that. But those aren't seedlings. That's just bacne from years of steroid abuse.

OH, YEAH!

It's not quite as scandalous as it would initially appear. Apparently, the woman in question was in her 30s when it started.

Gives out nickel rides. Also accepts prayers and vitamins.

The wrestlers you know are absolutely correct.

He's such an esoteric, old wrestling figure and the poster has him down to a t. A small thing of beauty, really.

I think it's probably kids. I mean, what parent wouldn't be happy to send their children off to wrestle around with a 58 year old stranger in speedos with a massive moustache that sleeps with his own daughter's friends? Ya gotta drop 'em off somewhere, right? I mean, hell, daycare's expensive and I'm pretty sure…

I wonder if his little grapplin' charges will be known as the 26" pythons?

Well
if nothing else. this news should herald the triumphant return of our man, Leapin' Lanny Poffo.