THIS GUY REALLY KNOWS HIS SHIT! is probably a real band

Two bands with Arrested Development references?  The Original Marta is a pretty sweet name.  She was much hotter but less of an actress.

B
   O
   N
MEAT

You've dated Rosario Dawson and Jay Leno?

apartment, suits, credit cards…what a truly bone-chilling list.

Wait, Ayn Rand was on "Donahue"?  Seriously?  That's my mind blowing moment for the week.

HELPING IS FUTILE

If it sold out ten times, it's still only 21,000 people.  Triple that would be a box office bomb.

He just wanted to see if he could get himself some of that sweet, sweet pancreas juice.

Royal Trux

His importance cannot be understated!

I suppose this was inevitable:  http://tinyurl.com/ccnhbzj

…Or if he makes it past the 30 second mark.

You're putting the vaseline in the wrong place

Now another long raga by Ravi Shankar!

Wasn't she fantasizing about some golfer at one point, too?  Lee Trevino, maybe?  Dirty girl, that Marge

Help me!  My daughter's not talented!

I admit I did like the line, "He has the relative power of a paralyzed spider!'" or words to that effect

Man, no offense, but those first few paragraphs sound like they were written by Gabe.  I thought McNutt was going to tell us narrative is comforting. 

That was nothing like Chien Andalou