In so many terrible, terrible ways.

Too repressed.

Can Nick Cage guest star as an especially pervy Edgar Degas? Cause that would be really really terrific.

Remember those Saturday nights where the line would get to be around 20 or 30 people and you were the only one manning the register and you felt like you were maybe 60 seconds away from all the customers just descending on you and feasting on your innards like bored, frustrated zombies? Good times.

So 150K in sales tops the Billboard charts, 15k of which was sold in a century old format cultivated by fetishists (of which I am one, but still …) and the top three is almost rounded out by a group of reality show starring facial hair enthusiasts doing Christmas songs. I think you can pretty well stick a fork in the…

"Oh, the places you'll go …"

Playing anybody who doesn't get shot after 10 minutes of screen time.

Get McDermott to deadpan this and I'm in.

Jay Leno?

McDermott. Tearjerking.

They should switch it up, have some native americans haunted by the spirits of bland, suburban white folk.

Next?

All zis coming and going, and coming and going …

You do remember where the butler randomly hugged the fucking scarecrow last week, right?

That sounds fantastic, but I do not remember. Seems like something Nick at Night or TV Land would do.

I'm with you there. It helps to check out some current pics / videos though. They still look older than you, it turns out. Some of these folks have racked up a lotta mileage.

Wow, nostalgia rush. Like the memory equivalent of an ice-cream headache.

Lets not forget the 'secret track.' Endless, Nameless anyone?

I saw them open for Hole in 94 and they were much better than I expected live. And hot. Also very hot.

God that's an amazing take.