You could have just done what I did: give your TV the middle finger and pop in the DVD. And then just keep watching old episodes because really, fuck New Simpsons.

Liked for the grin-worthy reference but … you record yourself just sitting around your apartment?

[sigh] Edna would have wanted it that way …

94 was also my freshman year of college and I remember several dudes I was friendly with wasting hours, days, weeks on this shit. This was New Orleans. The drinking age was still 18. What the fuck guys? What the fuck.

How is it that Wooderson showing up with a six pack and an eighth of weed only to find Chris Hansen waiting patiently has NOT been a bit on some sketch comedy show yet? How is that possible?

Or you hit your head and this has all been a single night's dream …

You people need to STOP this shit! Seriously, I'm teetering on the edge of a full-on depressive episode anyway, I may just need to avoid this site entirely for the rest of the week.

That did it. This idea now has me fully erect. Perhaps those idiots at Robot Chicken can make themselves useful for once and throw something together.

I recently watched Predators back to back with Predator (don't ask) and actually found myself marveling at what a genuinely good movie the original is. This is a film I've been mocking for 30 years.

I was in grade school in the mid 80s when 60s nostalgia hit big time. This doesn't seem to be happening any sooner than that, although admitting that makes me feel like a fucking geezer, as the 60s seemed impossibly far away to me back then.

*tosses noose over exposed ceiling beam*

Which resulted in the fashion sense of Xanadu and the musical sensibility of Phil Collins-era Genesis and Huey goddamn Lewis. Well done 80s. Well fucking done.

Certainly there were plenty of less well known acts into the whole synthesizer herky-jerk thing that still sound great. New Order, PiL and the Cure, obviously. Echo and the Bunnymen, Gang of Four, Killing Joke, Magazine etc. That's all just fine. I'm talking about what was actually on commercial radio, like stuff…

Isn't a digital moustache that thing you'd do in high school to mock moustachioed fellas where you just put your index finger under your nose?

"I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches."

A working single mom?

That's probably pretty accurate anyway.

I'm drunk, I'm at West Point … I'm drunk, I see combat … I'm drunk, I'm a failure … I'm drunk, I see combat … I'm drunk, I'm a hero … I'm drunk, I'm president … I'm drunk, I'm a failure … I'm drunk, I'm dead.

He kind of was …

Did you see him on Jeopardy? Cause just— no. No no no.