This sounds like the job of a manic pixie dream girl in an insufferable indie comedy.

Instead of creating foreign Chris Hardwicks, can't we just even things out by getting rid of ours?

The American feds, or those supported by them.

True story: I saw the headline and confused her with Elisabeth Moss, because she plays Peggy Olsen. I thought, "Whoa, surprising choice." I clicked on the article and my first thought on seeing the picture was, "Whoa, she really looks different in that picture."

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A nudge would be enough to get you forever out of reach of the shuttle, but you would still stay in an orbit that looks very similar to the one you were in before. You wouldn't be going further out into space, because "further away" = "up," and going into a higher orbit…

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The "orbital decay" experienced by the space station (or by astronauts cut loose from it) is in fact due to the atmosphere, which is extremely thin but still present enough to matter at that altitude. If the Earth had no atmosphere, there would be no such decay and they…

Where does complaining about the Battlestar Galactica finale fall in the new order?

Well, the latter is actually physically impossible without some kind of propulsion, so no worries about that. And the former is only possible close to Earth with some tiny amount of atmosphere to slow you down.

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His first album literally has New Jersey in the title.

Tolkein is a bit different in that the language actually came first.

Pretty much this. I don't want their lives, but I do want their opportunities. Or even just a small fraction - think how many lives could be dramatically improved for the cost of a fucking amethyst floor.

If having loads of syphilis is considered ok.

I would rather see it used as a group home for sex offenders than reward the Duggar's behavior, and I am not even joking.

Lagavulin was my drink long before Ron Swanson made it cool. It bothers me that I can't really blow people's minds with my mysterious magical whisky any more.

My wife and I stayed in a hotel in Mexico last year that seemed to be primarily geared towards selling guests timeshares in same. We did not go to the "half hour presentation," despite promises of breakfast and whale watching, but some rubes at the pool later told us it took five hours and inexplicably they eventually…

Nowhere in this or the other video is GRRM saying his work is better than JRRT's. Sacred cow safe!

You joke, but it doesn't seem like that difficult an inference. Although it might seem like a poetic turn of phrase rather than a reference to something familiar. Same with "expiration date" and various other phrases.

Conan O'Brien: the muscle

Comedian/Masturbator is a dangerous job.