Kerosene?

Home Improvement…

CRACKED.COM WEPT

To be fair, Chris Pratt already starred in Jurassic Park 4.

Did every character have a strained relationship with their parents?

"Or will he?" - the first line from Damon Lindelof's shitty script for it

A troll by any other name…

Working on the Cones Of Dunshire opera!

TIM, GET IN HERE

Brett Ratner is only one man!

Heathen!

And that balances fine against someone who literally can't go two sentences without false embellishment?

Gene Simmons angrily tweets Thomas Edison's home address

STAND, IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE, NOW FACE

I go to Tattooine, I grab a little moisture, some raw Windu, cup of blue milk? Baby, I got a stew goin'!

According to the textbooks in Alabama, yes.

Here, under protest, is "Fisto burgers."

But magnets, how do they work?

I've been wondering, what are midichlorians?

Don't call my escorts whores!