Arnold Schwarzenegger glaces at you over the top of his sunglasses.

covered by an acid-fried hipster burnout wearing skinny jeans, a scarf, a knit winter cap, horn rim glasses, and five days worth of beard growth

it's calvin johnson, wide receiver for the detroit lions

Perhaps Japanese scientists have solved the "corn in, corn out" problem

He banishes inferior pizza to the land of wind and ghosts.

Well…let's see…one of them is a convicted murderer and church arsonist and the other isn't. Ya, I'd say the first guy would win.

well that shit has gotta come out somewhere

You've got so many machines, Richard!

Ninja, please.

*picks up guitar, goes overboard with pinch harmonics*

Mashed potatoes? Why do you hate mashed potatoes?

Ass to Ass! Ass to Ass!

I don't even own a talcum!

Kippers for breakfast? Is it St. Swithin's Day already?

Sometimes you hit your head real bad and go to the bathroom and you don't even have to push.

Fish is for cats. For your health.

"Far too many US companies ignore laws, because the penalties are far less than the cost savings and/or profits they make."

I should want to cook him a simple meal, but I shouldn't want to cut into him, to tear the flesh, to wear the flesh, to be born unto new worlds where his flesh becomes my key.

I like this one better: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Mel's mug is fuckin creepin me out, man