The Death Star…
A ship shaped like a giant bowling ball?! Why that's like having an evil organization building that is shaped like the head of a British child!

Better than a dildo!
Thanks to my nose, which one would describe as quite…penisy. I mean, it looks like a cock, right Perry the Platypus? anyway, it allows me to give fantastic orl sex which has led to my greatest invention….THE CUNNILINGINATOR!!! And normally now Perry would thwart me, but see, he's not because if he…

Idea for a sequel to The Town
THE TRISTATE AREA!!!!

Go ahead, kids!
Go ahead and roast I, the EVIL dr.doofenshmirtz! I promise I won't cry…I mean, maybe a little, but its just my sensitive side, ya know? Anyway, its your chance to give me endless attention through bad jokes!! Drive me away forever if you dare! But can you internet commenting douchebag reach the nemesis…

THE WALMARTINATOR!!!
Behold, my latest creation, it will create a one stop shop where you can buy literally EVERYTHING at ridiculously low prices! Now, lyndana flynn won't go to the market everyday and will be home to watch over perry the platypus while I rake in the dough from discounted…I dunno…what do people buy?…

A movie about a BO-AT?!
Buoyancy Operated Aquatic Transport?! I created this! Why isn't my check in the mail?! You know, these Hollywood types just go around stealing ideas…you just can't win, eh Perry the Platypus? siiiigh.

A movie about a BO-AT?!
Buoyancy Operated Aquatic Transport?! I created this! Why isn't my check in the mail?! You know, these Hollywood types just go around stealing ideas…you just can't win, eh Perry the Platypus? siiiigh.

Behold! My latest creation!
With this, the CELEBRITIESINSTEADOFAPLOT-INATOR, I will zap every single celebrity in the TRI-STATE AREA!! Then, I will force them to be in my movie which will undoubtedly be box office gold! Because seriously, who doesn't love celebrities? They're better than normal people and occasional…

SAY GOODBYE TO THESE, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!!
That's right, I'm talking about my pale german nipples. Now that's a sight that's truly EVIL!!

Gangster SQUAD?!
I mean, a couple of gangsters is one thing, but this whole "evil" thing has gotten so bureaucratic lately, hasn't it? A squad? Really?! I'm so tired of having to pay my dues to LOVEMUFFIN just so I can thwart that perry the platypus, who himself is part of OWCA! What happened to the good old days of…

Look at those shorts!
It's like he has LITERAL squirrels in his pants!

They MIGHT be Giants?
Just tell me if they're giants or not! I mean, Love Handle is clearly a band that handles love…that's a clear name! I bought this CD expecting to hear music about evil giants crushing the entire TRI-STATE AREAAA!!! That is why I have invented my newest, most EVIL creation…the…

Impromptu marriages?!
I'm watching this program, expecting laughs from evil sources such as Ron's tooth pain, and then all of a sudden, there's a marriage?! I suppose that's pretty evil, I mean my marriage was terrible, my ex-wife doesn't even let me borrow her sports sedan! However, she does let me use her house in…

And now for something truly diabolical!
A FIRSTIE-INATOR!!!

My goodness, lawyers…
Now those folks are TRULY evil! Am I right, Perry the Platypus? Oh right, you're not here because I haven't finished this inator yet….sigh….things sure are lonely without you, Perry the Platypus.

My latest EVIL creation
My hair just won't comb right! It's always in a mess, I mean I try to do a nice coiffe but it just doesn't happen. I mean, I tried covering it up with a hat but nobody wears hats anymore and it just made me look even more out of place! That's why I have invented….THE MADMENINATOR!!! When I zap…

This reminds me of that time…
I stole all those steaks in the tri-state area to create "steak-specs"! Unfortunately, all those steaks were going to spoil but then suddenly, they just disappeared. I blame Perry the Platpus, he's usually at fault for these things. But man oh man, have you seen this Ron Swanson guy? He…

I've never even seen this show…
It's on at the same time as my favorite telenovela, "El Matador de Amor" and unfortunately I can't record it because last time Perry the Platypus broke in here, he broke my DVR! Can you believe that?! Maldito seas, Perry el ornitorrinco!

Why?!
Why did you steal my carpet, Perry the Platypus?! It really tied the evil lair together! Oh….because I was zapping you with some sort of inator and you used it to parachute away from Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated? Well let me tell you something, Perry the Platypus, this building is fine real estate…the finest…

Accursed children!
Whenever I go to the the local Danville multiplex, there are always all these children scampering around, throwing their popcorn everywhere and making the floors all gooey and sticky. I have to buy a new pair of loafers every time because of those sticky floors! And it's all the fault of those…