Accursed children!
Whenever I go to the the local Danville multiplex, there are always all these children scampering around, throwing their popcorn everywhere and making the floors all gooey and sticky. I have to buy a new pair of loafers every time because of those sticky floors! And it's all the fault of those…

The Goodmaninator!
No matter how much I eat, I just can't seem to bulk up. The ladies, you know, they always say I'm so scrawny. Which is why today, I will enact my most evil and diabolical plan yet! With my new inator, I will zap every person in the tristate area who will then accumulate excess fat off the body of…