Even by the shitty standards of this terrible fucking feature this one is awful as fuck.

I don't want to be a jerk here but I'd just like to quietly point out that this is a 612 word article based entirely on some unsubstantiated stuff from a much, much shorter BuzzFeed article which is like 90% animated gifs and embedded instagram images.

< NERD >I don't want to be a nerd but there was actually a lot of misinformation in that infographic and also it left out a bunch of important shit.< /NERD>

Sure but other people who want a movie about how Superman's a whiney thirty-something who spends like twenty years freaking out about his superpowers are wrong? Imagine the outrage if they Batman movie where he's pretty chill about his parents murder then became a superhero because he's was bored?

I really like the similar sketch second season where the women are all talking about how "bad" they are for eating dessert.

I legit think Batman and Robin is a much, much better and more entertaining movie than Man of Steel.

Sure, except Miracleman was a dissection of superhero tropes and an exploration of how the real world would react to and change as a result of superheroes. None of that stuff needs to be put in actual Superman comics. Moore was actually pretty embarrassed about how everyone appropriated his superhero dissection stuff…

My favourite Zak Snyder is kind of stupid and indulgent thing is how he somehow made the world's most homoerotic movie (300) without actually meaning to on any level.

"You know we're not so different you and I" ← also stop doing that thing.

HOW TO MAKE A GOOD ACTION FILM: ONE LESSON FROM OLD MOVIES

The Mission Impossible movies have somehow emerged as possibly the funnest franchise series I can think of. Even though they're generic as hell and Tom Cruise barely plays a character so much as a personification of his general movie persona and they're barely connected in any way and they all have the same basic plot…

He's one of those action stars with a face who I honestly can't picture in my head if my life depended on it even if I spent two hours staring at it. See also: Aaron Taylor Johnson. Stop casting people with forgettable faces in things please Hollywood thnx.

Is the Jesus stuff inevitable though? I used to read dumb old Superman comics when I was a kid and he was mostly just a fun, charismatic guy that had a bunch of insane sci fi adventures. This whole Jesus nonsense is relatively new from my perspective.

I think his real issue is that he's good at making dumb action movies but he keeps trying to overreach and make interesting political, social statements etc as well but also he's kind of stupid and can't even hope to pull any sort of thematic complexity off.

I mean he has that too but mostly he's just got GOLD FEVER.

How to make a good action film: mean spirited and hilarious caricatures of awful fucking British politicians less than a year after they died as portrayed by Tilda Swinton.

For me it's all about how whiney Superman is. It's like, you can literally do anything, get your hand off it and go do some cool shit asshole.

I do like how the plot of With a Vengeance is basically "bad guy steals gold". Like the plot is superficially complicated but it's all just designed to distract from the fact that he's just stealin' some gold.

WHERE'S SNOWPIERCER AT YO

ALSO that bit where he's whining about being a saviour or whatever while literally sitting in front of a stained glassed window of Jesus UGH x ∞