Oh, this is news? That he's not funny?

If there was any reasonable chance of making a difference, I would've gone down to the Gulf of Mexico and hunted down the perpetrators of the spill like Charles Bronson. But I never had any reasonable chance of making a difference. And besides, I don't live on the Gulf of Mexico. It's not my home. The people who live…

Enkidum—

It isn't the Left that's wallowing in despair. The Left is wallowing in capitulation. The Left is just as much a problem as the Right. They whine about proposed cuts to entitlement programs, yet they don't support basic rights for working people—the right, say, for a pension instead of a 401(K) that's going to be…

YES WE CAN!

There is no treatment. But there is an answer:

OH NO, CONFOUND IT!!!!

I KNEW you were a closet Blasohemite!

What happened to all the tropical fish?

These are the people who have anointed Rick Perry as God's Candidate:

Gay Vampire Panic!

For British ears only.

Miss Kitty was really a man. I have that on the highest authority.

This made me laugh.

Martin Shaqscese!

Yes, but he's a big LOVABLE asshole.

I masturbate every time I see Sarah Silverman.

Fuck her. Sarah's name spelled backwards it "Haras." That's hot.

Itchy! My vagina, I mean.

It's NOT?!?!?!