Yeah! If you can't jig your own wahoo, you have no business courting seamen.

Only if the weed is certified organic!

Yogurt has active culture! Take that, France!

I mean, I could be sitting here with just pee stains on my plane.

I hear he can piss through his nose.

Yeah, that's a fucking book. About women. Fucking women. Tits. Women. Fuck.

Hemingway or the highway, pussies.

Those things with the sickle-bladed throwing stars on them? No thanks.

"I'd've" ain't a word.

So you're saying you'd like to bone Ayn Rand?

I'm pretty sure TomWaitsforSnomen/LoneApocalypse developed a chronic syntax problem and likes to eat cookies.

Women can't be priests.

GET YOUR GOVERNMENT HANDS OFF MY WIND!!!!!

I'd rather see Paul Harvey writing like Jackie Harvey.

By Doc Martin I mean Doc Martin. You need to watch more PBS.

Ba-Glavin-Na-Hoygen-Esperrrrrrrannnnnzzzzzaaaaaa!

But Doc Martin is always so grumpy!

*throws phone

Jon Hamm!

Russell Crow is THE CROWE.