GORE VERBINSKI: "More like Rise of the Planet of the DOUGH!"

Legends of the Gourdians.

Windigo.

More like "Brotherhood of the Poorly-Rendered CGI Lion."

The people who felt sorry for Heston are like the members of the White House Press Corps who felt sorry for Reagan being unable to answer unscripted questions, so they quietly conspired to hold his hand during the press conferences and let him pretend like he knew what he was talking about. After all, he was just such…

Get a job, sir.

Don't have a cow, man!

Your all the same person WAKE UP SHEOPLE!!!!

Charlton Heston is not afraid of the truth.

Yeah, he only dents.

Well, it's good to know some midgets really do get laid.

*NIE. Can't spell, I gess.

*NIA, not NEA

Of course they were created by the CIA. But what the CIA created is not what we're dealing with today. The current NEA states there are, at most, 100 "real" al-Qaeda fighters in Afghanistan. Lots of other fighters will call themselves "al-Qaeda" like every Irish bomber during the Troubles called himself IRA, but that…

I spent four years in Afghanistan. Having learned Arabic I was enlisted to work as an interrogator for the last two years. I worked on eighty-three suspects and what I learned was that the "al-Qaeda" we've come to know doesn't really exist. There is no worldwide organization. Osama bin Laden never spoke for more than…

Keep on chomping, you'll get there soon.

Cookie Monster better show up and explain himself.

I knew gay marriage will lead to dog marriage.

No I'm not.

I would consider "Truthers" to be the people who think the planes were remote-controlled, that there weren't any Arab hijackers, or that the fact that jet fuel doesn't burn hot enough to melt steel means the towers had to have been brought down by bombs planted inside. What they refuse to acknowledge is: you don't…