You must be one of the 5 in 7 billion who'd be appetizing to a shark, then. I should know. I majored in math.

What about babies?

This is where the PA system should chime in to say "THE SHARK IS NOT WORKING. THE SHARK IS NOT WORKING."

CLARK: Hey Perry, what did you think of my article?

I actually like coconut too, but I couldn't have said strawberry creme because everyone—EVERYONE—seems to like that.

I always feel safe
When I'm out fighting orcs with Osha!

He's a he?

It's easy to put out 50 albums when you're a fucking moron!

Sharks don't like how we taste. That's why they don't actively prey on us. They only bite us to see what's inside: when they realize we're all bones and no meat, they spit us out.

Apparently people are rather quite interested in big expressionless fish who eat an average of 5 people per year.

Hipsters hate Shawshank. I'll bet it has something to do with the voiceover narration, which they feel insults their intelligence. "I didn't get an MFA in Rehabilitative Creative Writing with an emphasis in Poetic Urban Gardening to have someone explain to me how it totally fucking sucks to be in prison."

And no, the abuse isn't universal—it's almost unheard of in Italy, for example, but it's rampant in Ireland and it's rampant in the United States. The point is, the ritualized atmosphere of this sacred class of men who are said to have a direct line of communication with God tends to foster an incredible arrogance…

"Men generally don't turn to pedophilia just because marriage isn't a viable option."

If Bruce Dern plays a guy who builds bat houses, it ought to at least be worth checking out.

Look! Up in the Air!
It's a democracy!
It's a banana republic!

How about a dull English heartthrob who can growl like he has emphezeema?

I'm sorry I had a lousy childhood, too.

Who cares if the Koran is a rip-off? Unlike the Bible, it's "based on peace," as the Moslems are always violently insisting.

NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!

He's not really black!