You know what else kills you?

Reminds me of that scene in A Serious Man when Larry's getting checked out by his doctor. His doctor takes out a cigarette, pauses, and apologizes. Then he offers one to Larry.

Reminds me of the death of General John Sedgwick just before the Battle of Spotsylvania in the Shenandoah Valley. A bunch of rebel snipers were taking pot-shots at the Union line, the Yankees fell into a panic, the General got on his horse and chided them for cowards, yelling "They couldn't hit an elephant from this…

Wesley Willis, this is your moment to shine.

If you want to stop a dinosaur from disrupting civilization, just remind it that it's acting in violation to Robert's Rules of Order.

Nyarrrggghhh, you should never forget about Poseidon.

QUIET! ALL OF YOU!

I wish it would play some opera music, like in The Shawshank Redemption, and then we could all stop what we're doing and gaze upwards in a state of poetic transfixion.

I know that.

There's a first time for everything.

He didn't make fun of gays or blacks, so he's in like Flynn around here. He could even write about raping mentally retarded children and you wouldn't hear so much as a peep out of the Enlightened Liberal PC Brigade.

And so is President O'Bamagh, b'gosh-b'god!

Trigger, pleaze.

I'm not buying it. I know for a fact that Al Gore has no rhythm.

So if it's handled by an outside firm, it isn't trule "O-Matic," then. By God, I demand genuine O-Maticism! They're probably headquartered in India, stealing opportunities for American happenstance.

What the fuck kind of a world is this where a website hires an outside company to supply random links to that website's old articles? Where the fuck do you find companies like that? Jesus.

Thank God I live all the way up in the southwestern corner of Minnesota.

Are you sure the trigger didn't pull us? Triggers can be mighty sneaky, you know. Yes, sir. Lots of crafty triggers out there. Clever, crafty triggers pulling our legs. Goddamn triggers.

They should make a video game called "Tupac Man," in which the hero runs through a maze, getting chased by bad guys who look like ghosts…or spooks, or something.

The only music I listen to originates on the North Shore of Lake Superior.