I hardly even know 'er.

I knew a good schmata from Brooklyn, name of Coen, and he was a Preparation H salesman. Everyone called him "Ass Cream Coen."

Good Lord! I thought I was the only Jehoshaphat Salvatore Brown around here!

Nyarrrrggghhh, tis a haunted island, tit is.

If you're bailing on Bai Ling, you're a bailingual bailingerer!

I DONE LOS' MY SIGNAL

I'll bet you a dollar it's Lobsters.

And ordering people to "HALT!"

Oops. How will I make up for this?

They should do a prequel: Salt Teen: The Teen Years

You should've used "nor."

Hipsters?!?!?!?
HIPSTERS?!?!?!?!?!
There's no such thing as hipsters. Just ask 'em. No such thing.

The problem with evidence is the way we define "evidence." Jane Goodall caught a lot of flack early in her career for using "unscientific" methods of observation; she is now considered the world's foremost authority on chimp behavior and she shocked Ira Flatow when she appeared on Talk of the Nation Science Friday a…

Wanamaker do what?

Every native tribe on this continent has a story about a giant hairy man-beast who lives out in the woods. Similar legends are present on every other continent with the exception of Antarctica. If both species were evolving side-by-side in the Old World for a million years and on this continent for 13,000, then…

In Soviet Union, BFR-U!

How do you know they don't bury their dead? If they're smarter than chimps and almost as smart as humans, they may well have figured that out by now. Even if they don't bury their dead, one thing to remember is that they don't have any natural enemies, so they aren't going to be killed and left to rot in some place…

I got a big vocabulary, which is analogous to a big Dictionary.

SANTORUM IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!

At any rate, you've outed yourself as a sex offender for having knowledge of the size of an underage girl's ass, which you shouldn't be looking at.