Them droppings is artifice! ARTIFICE, I tells ya!

Don' tread on me an' mah secun amemment rots.

This too.

If you're high right now, this is really fucking funny:

How do we know it really wasn't Nicolas Cage's face on John Travolta's face on Natalie Portman's face on Sarah Lane's body?

She looks like a lesbian in that picture….a lesbian who likes to MUNCH on the carpet, if you know what I mean.

Fukujima?!?! I hardly even know Ujima!

The LOAN Ranger has been harassing me, that dirty draconian fascist. The LOAN Ranger.

They've been getting rid of PBS ever since they muscled Bill Moyers off the air.

^I saw "To Catch A Predator" last night and most of those guys were married with kids.

Remember when the aliens blew up the White House in Independence Day?

We must form an alliance with the Molemen!

Justice Beaver ate all my pussy willows and damned me to a life in the soggy bottomlands!

I watched the watchmen.

Plucking Palin from the big white north country was just another example of McCain's way of saying "I'll do anything" for the grand chance to go further, after the sunset.

Arnold gets a lifetime pass for making all them shitty movies for having fucked up the state of California—mad props for that.

Jesus Christ, if my own mother was selling bad penicillin to childrens hospitals I'd waste no time snitching on her.

4) If a woman enjoys sex without being married, she will get AIDS and die before the disease is even known. And she must be truly unhappy and can only find satisfaction by becoming a wife and mother.

Well done, lad.

Jim,