Holy shit, like six winters ago I was walking my dog and some kids in a school bus threw a copy of Barely Legal out the back window and it landed practically in my lap. Well, more like 200 yards away. I couldn't fucking believe it, though. I felt like that dude from The Gods Must Be Crazy.

If I were Scott Glenn, I would've said "I don't train grrrrrls."

MAY THE CHRISTIAN LORD GUIDE MY HAND AGAINST YOUR ROMAN POPERY!

The French haven't the nature for war. Their Gallic laziness combines with their Latinate voluptuousness with the result that they would rather eat and make love with their faces than fight.

I won't really be there…I never get off the farm until after the marij—er, uh—the cabbage is done curing.

You owe me 50 cents for using my "Quadaffyduck" line.

^So did Benny Hill.

I liked it too, I was just drawing a blank about the specifics.

The economy was good under Bush (under Bush? dirty) just like YOUR WHOLE FUCKING METAPHYSICAL SELF is good on heroin.

Yeah, I'd rate this one of the top ten episodes of TV ever. I actually used to go around telling people I was a marine biologist; most of them didn't "get it" and I always felt really satisfied about that.

I'll be there, sort of. I'm flying too, just not by plane.

In FRENCH, no less!

Wolfman, you'll never guess who I'm listening to right now.

SHAMELESS PANDERING WHORES!!!!!

Lots of girls have titties.

With a FABULOUS wardrobe.

I'm trying to think of quotes from Major Payne, but I can't remember any.

She looks about a quarter retarded.

Someone who taught constitutional law is someone you should worry about. Someone who taught constitutional law would know more than anyone else who to slither through the loopholes. This war with Libya is unconstitutional; the loophole pertains to semantics (it's not a war, it's a "no fly zone," and since America is…

Richard Lewis as … Richard Lewis!