Tim,

The Busty Cops, they should pick up The Busty Cops.

Go suck a horse-hoof, Reiser.

These kids today, they think "dear" is gay.

Humans would shit on the evening star if they could reach it.

Haysoos,

ME: "Hello, Sarah. I must say, I find you weirdly attractive. Wanna go out?"

Send them to the Halls of Montezuma, so they can get some of that revenge.

$20,000. She could buy, like, 120,000 feet of Bubble Tape. For you, not them.

I'd hate to be Will Arnett or Ricky Gervais a couple of years from now.

Of course it was. Real people aren't named Gianna.

Cut the man some slack; he's acted in motion pictures.

GeoGreg,

Gentmelemn, please. This is how I feel on the inside. I must be honest: I don't really have a mustache. I do have one of those silly little hats, though.

How DARE you, sir! How DARE YOU!

Those Al Pacino prank calls are priceless, though.

Chuck E. Cheese tokens.

I don't think Obama said he was going to be different so much as the personality cult that formed around him insisted that, in the words of Oprah, he is "THE ONE." Sure, he may have made some grandiose promises on the campaign trail ("If any workers are on strike, I'll put on a comfortable pair of shoes and join them…

Kissinger? I hardly even know 'er!

I thought, for a moment, that is was Henry Kissinger.