O'Neal, like all English Majors, loves to show off his big dictionary.

Sending the Japanese to China would be ridiculous. How would they tell each other apart.

NOTHING THAT INVOLVES EARTH, AIR, WIND, WATER, FIRE, SCHOOLGIRL PORN.

My family's Catholic church in Northeast Minneapolis actually has beer on tap in their kitchen. They have a summer carnival and the top bingo prize is a wheelbarrow full of liquor. The late Father Ted actually attended AA meetings at his own church.

wtf is lowell lowell

Curses!

Tits? As in PLURAL? I can see how that would work.

I could could sure go for a nice, frothy Sam Adams right about now. Best British beer outside of Briton.

pearly-pearly, pearly-pearly
what-cheer what-cheer what-cheer-cheer-cheer-cheer
caw-caw-caw-caw-caw-caw
feeeee-beeeeee feeeeee-beeeeee
chick-a-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee chick-a-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee
who cooks for you? who cooks for you all?

You people (you people? racism!) are a riot. That's why I'm so fond of this place, I even come back on Saturdays!

This is a job for………………………The Cape.

OF COCK

I have free range chickens. Which means I also have eggs all over the yard and, consequently, raccoons.

If your name is Mokele Mbebe and your father is a lion hunter from Timbuktu, then by all means: extend your ear-lobes. But if your name is Steve and your father is a dentist from Omaha, then for the love of God: go fuck yourself.

Amanda Seyfried doesn't look lovely when her picture is right next to that PAUL ad.

I've always hated his act (to me the greatest sin on Earth is wasting food), but I still think this is one of the most insightful things anyone in showbiz has ever said:

Slow ahead. I can go slow ahead. Why don't you come down and try chummin some of this shit.

When I was 10 years old I became obsessed with "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald."

A Gaiman Writes

It should be called a "ReCroc," because real men wear boots, whereas fake men (who don't give a shit about superficial things like fascism—excuse me, "fashion"—) wear Crocs.