Those guys in the bottom picture…

Franco's a fascist!

Forget it, Dog. It's Chinatown.

Russell Crowe: DUCK!

How the fuck do you do that? I'm such a Luddite.

how….did…..you……

Dolphins don't pull out. They're doing it to breed. It's rough, but it's not evil.

!!ESOPRUP NO TI DID I UOY KCUF

IF THEY MATED
Michael Moore and Chuck Klosterman.

Duck rape is part of an evolutionary necessity (female ducks are notoriously hard to get). Chimps have actually been observed to pull out and ejaculate onto the victim's thighs or hindquarters to DELIBERATELY PREVENT CONCEPTION which would seem to suggest they do it to dominate/humiliate/terrorize vulnerable members…

Surely they aren't blowing the auto pilot…

You sayin she's got big balls?

Planet Earth was one big bore before monkeys came along.

I don't know, the last time I had chimp ribs I thought they tasted vaguely human.

Her eyes are booby enough.

"What have you been feeding me? My poop tastes like shit!"

That is a gross oversimplification of the canine mind, covering only about 1/3 of their vocabularies. They also say "FOOD!" and "SHIT!"

The real twist is that it's just another bullshit Da Vinci Code knockoff. This is what's wrong with the modern novel. Real people who commit real suicide just write notes. "Sorry, I'm killing myself. Goodbye." They don't orchestrate elaborate puzzles so grieving loved ones can have a chance to play detective. The…

ATTN NATHAN RABIN: pull a Pierce and label this "Fiasco." No one will judge you.

Faster!