And he'll complain when all his stuff is outside and his key won't work. You just can't please some people.

It is if you're not that flexible/skinny/young. Hence the nice shower-head or a vibrator.
And I bet it was Lois doing that; she's a freak. Hal's a lucky man…

I saw a tattoo of one over the weekend! Admittedly, it was Twilight Sparkle brandishing AK-47's that was used in a non-Savage AV-Club column many years ago, but the artist is the same. I was so surprised I almost yelled at the tattoo's owner, "Dan Savage!"

He's a doucheknob for using the word "sitch".

An episode of Friends let people in on that one. Chandler accidentally walks in on Monica in the shower, and she says later, "By the way, I was just *testing* the hand-held shower functions!"

She was deep undercover as Gail the Snail for a while. Please give her time to adjust.

When Geoff freaked out Morgan Freeman with his Freeman impression:
MF: Okay, that's a recording of my voice now, right?
Geoff (as MF): No, it's not.
MF: (Pauses) Now that's just scary!

Man, that time when Bill Maher was on, Craigy made one of his usual naughty off-the-cuff remarks, and the interview just ENDED. You could see Maher get confused, then completely shut down just because Craig didn't want to discuss libertarian politics at the moment. They went to break, and when they came back, Maher…

It's a way of life.

Hey, nobody can replace wood wizard Norm Abram, you feel me? NOBODY!

Castle Black elevator music.

Sesame Street's Hungry Games is better, if only with Peeta as a pita (and a better actor).
"Oh, thank goodness that over! And me never have to play that again!"
http://www.youtube.com/watc…

Morticia was the first crush for every guy I know who grew up with this show. Anyone else think Mrs Addams is hotter than today's tv moms?

Dr Fleicshman: Why does he throw this party every year?
Marilyn: Because he's old and alone.

"Points, POINTS!"

Hardwick actually had some good zingers. The pelican mascot is after him now.

With Apatow and Spade, it was a contest to see who could look the most bored and be the least funny.

Waiting for the inevitable moment when Abrams says to himself, "Dammit, was I working on Star Wars or Star Trek today? Oh well, potato, potatoe…"

Kind of redundant, because aren't all catfish bottom-feeders?
I have a huge plako fish in my aquarium who is always attached to the side of the tank, it's mouth and underside in full view. So that reference was instantly, disturbingly real to me.
(Anyone thinking of getting a plako as a tank cleaner should know that…

Just watched it on You Tube, and goddamn, that looked painful! Ringo falls right on him too. He's a good sport to pick up and keep going.