I don't have an office job (and probably won't ever) so I'm always here late, commenting randomly. Fight the power!

I have to be up for work super early on Tuesdays, and I'm not all that awake yet. This past Tuesday I made it to work on time, all pleased with myself for being raring to go, until one of my customers asked me if I knew who was driving the red Kia. That's my car, so I kinda freaked out until he handed me some money…

I really want to name my (fictional) daughters Jeremy and Cameron. I don't know why those particular ones stand out. My sons are pre-named after various relatives, but I kinda feel like you can be more creative with a girl's name than a boy's.

I had to call my help desk because someone's prescription had a glitch in it- wouldn't let me ring it up, wouldn't let me edit the claim, etc. My help desk's 'solution' was to delete it altogether and create a new script. Really? I could've 'fixed' it that way myself. My intention was to prevent this from happening to…

Oh god, Stinky Meat put me off hotdogs for a good long while. Not that that's a bad thing, but it was like years before I could stop visualizing that plate before trying to take a bite.

Every wig I've ever sat on my head transforms into Dolly Parton hair. Curly, straight, long, short- I always look like I'm gearing up to sing 9 to 5. I must have the biggest head in creation. (according to my sister, this is a true statement.)

My BFF's aunt does my hair right now, and it's the best it's ever looked since I started getting it chemically relaxed when I was a teenager. I know she hates doing hair, but I've already warned her when she gets that fantastic job doing whatever else that she's still gonna do my hair, because otherwise I'll be bald.…

I love tees with stuff on them. I have one with an old radio station slogan that I wear around town, because it makes me feel cool. I also give props to people for cool shirts.

Have fun at the prom! I went to one a couple of years ago- it was frelling awesome, with three of my my girlfriends, and since I never went to my actual prom, very moving to me. Also, I had my boobs touched by strange women and danced with a guy in a kilt! So if you rock a clip-on, trust me, you'll still be ahead of…

My parents loved all those monster movies. As a kid, I thought there were scary as heck, and now I love to watch Godzilla Vs Megalon or Rodan just for mindless entertainment.

Was that the one with the cheetah that ran track? We never owned a copy of it but whenever the Disney Channel would show it we'd gather 'round.

My dad always talks about me seeing E.T. in the theatre, but I wasn't two yet (E.T. was in '81, right?). He always assures me I was well-behaved.

I've tried to figure this out before without success (because I'm lazy) but I remember my mom taking my sister and I to see a movie. It was 1985, the summer before I started kindergarten, and it was either Follow That Bird or The Care Bears movie. I've seen both since, so I don't remember which was first, but I still…

G I JOOOOOOE

She's tired, tired of being admired…

Jurassic Park 4: Too Old For This Shit
Jurassic Park 4: Now The Kids Got Kids, Even The Black Gymnast
Jurassic Park 4: You Know You'll Still See It

@avclub-aa13379de5ab83d16cd1c4fb5f6bc9e1:disqus a couple of months ago, there was a fundraiser for some random thing that's not important, because it was an adults only party at the Children's Museum! I seriously had so much fun, because I'm forever a kid. Also, good drinks, and food, and drunken carousel rides!

Our theatre burst into fond laughter at his first appearance. Oh Ira, never change!

I had the misfortune of seeing "Colored Girls" during a ladies' night, and I've never been so ragetasticly, blind raging, angry over a move before. Even years later, now, I still think of that movie with utter hatred. If I ever was to like a Perry movie, all I have to do is think of how stomach-churning I felt during…

I had never seen this, and actually had to get up and show members of my (Perry liking) family. I needed this laugh, thanks for posting!