I probably couldn't but luckily "Pussy Is Mine" is near the end of the album. She-Scotch has a good sense of humor and if we made it that far into the album, would probably just laugh and shrug it off.

For what it's worth, I hear it actually looks pretty decent.

Here's a few that work for me:

Just think, for $18 you can see this in 3-D!!!

It was a 19 year old kid with a history of behavior problems. Losing his girlfriend and a job at McDonald's seemed to be the tipping point. He killed nine, including himself, and wounded four others. It was the deadliest mass murder in NE since Charles Starkweather. All the national news outlets had vans parked at the…

Is that the same stuff you had last week? Man, that shit had me dancing on the ceiling! Or at least just staring at it, and thinking about dancing, and how I could, like, get pretty good at it if I really wanted too…..

You know what masks the smell of weed smoke pretty well? Fertilizer! But I guess bullshit will work, if that's all you got.

Period horror movie? You mean like The Raven?

I'm hoping Julianne Moore has one of those creepy smiling Jesus tattoos, the vaguely Manson-y one, that you see on the wall of every tattoo and piercing shop.

"That's all the dubstep there is? Shit, somebody get the distributor on the phone! We're gonna have to go back to the post facility and add more. You can't have less than three bass drops in these stupid things. The Red Dawn remake taught us that. Maybe we can push it back to October. Get ahold of that kid with the Gum…

You would think, but the Van Maur here in Omaha where a mass shooting took place in December of 2007 is still slinging Juicy Couture and Tommy Bahama like it ain't shit.

I have a "making of" book on this movie. The music stings are actually a fork being scraped across piano strings.

I have a "making of" book on this movie. The music stings are actually a fork being scraped across piano strings.

What's wrong with that? That's how I talk! My three friends don't seem to mind…

What's wrong with that? That's how I talk! My three friends don't seem to mind…

Thanks guys! Glad I made some people smile.

Thanks guys! Glad I made some people smile.

I can relate. The first pizza I ever had was a McPizza. I wouldn't touch the stuff for years. Finally my dad asked me when I had last had it, and I told him about the McPizza. He was all "Well fuck! No wonder!" and remedied the situation with a good old pepperoni and sausage from Cassano's (any Dayton, OH area people…

I can relate. The first pizza I ever had was a McPizza. I wouldn't touch the stuff for years. Finally my dad asked me when I had last had it, and I told him about the McPizza. He was all "Well fuck! No wonder!" and remedied the situation with a good old pepperoni and sausage from Cassano's (any Dayton, OH area people…

I've noticed lately that I seem to have a burgeoning knee fetish. I've always liked every part of a woman, but lately the knees have been unusually arousing. Especially when covered in a nice pair of tights or stockings. It's the damndest thing.