I think you just broke the secret of Sean Penn's career.

Word from the set is that producers held on to his legs and twisted his torso around repeatedly. Unfortunately, when released on a cafeteria table, with his arms and legs bent awkwardly, he did not "break dance". An autopsy later revealed that Tatum did not have a black rubber band connecting his torso to his waist.

Yeah. His stripper name was "Champanya".

Yeah. His stripper name was "Champanya".

Hmm, what is the prefererred nomenclature for devout Channing Tatum fans? I know Justin Bieber fans are sometimes called "Beliebers", so I wonder if it's in a similar vein. Maybe something like, oh I don't know, "Taters"? Although that seems like a better name for people who hate him…..

Hmm, what is the prefererred nomenclature for devout Channing Tatum fans? I know Justin Bieber fans are sometimes called "Beliebers", so I wonder if it's in a similar vein. Maybe something like, oh I don't know, "Taters"? Although that seems like a better name for people who hate him…..

I'm just warming up the grill now. Figured I'd brush a little more marinade on while it heats up. By the way, do you have any aluminum foil? It's for the baked po-Tatums.

I'm just warming up the grill now. Figured I'd brush a little more marinade on while it heats up. By the way, do you have any aluminum foil? It's for the baked po-Tatums.

Also: Who'd they get to do the voice for Tupac for the Coachella shout-out? Or did they develop a Text-to-Tupac voice simulator?

Now he could just shoot him with a Nintendo Zapper. Or if he really wants to make a statement - Super Scope 6.

Bonebonebonebone bone bone bone

[ MAKES ONE OF THOSE REALLY HOT, REALLY PUNGENT SILENT FARTS IMMEDIATELY AFTER. TELLS EVERYONE IT'S KIRK CAMERON LEFT ME BEHIND'S FART THEY'RE SMELLING. WANDERS OFF TO FIND SODA MACHINE.]

(joke about sending Madonna a hydrangea arrangement as consolation)

this old bitch looks liek shes wearin a fuckin Yoda mask made out of ballsac skin an shit lol

I'm not going to bava seeing this.

Is that Ellen May from Justified?

@avclub-3e20567136cc58f94a3b6fb6c736b5de:disqus Yeah, it was. I enjoy both of those records too but of course they don't come close to the okey-doke of Reign In Blood and South Of Heaven, but there's still plenty to like. To me, Slayer is like pizza or getting laid - even when it's bad it's still pretty good.

My pipestyle determines my bathstyle.

I rented that on VHS as a kid from Blockbuster. I kept rewinding and rewatching the part where Hetfield hits Bob Rock with a cropduster fart at the mixing board. It was just the funniest thing at the time. Last I checked, it wasn't on YouTube or I'd link it.

I have to agree. In my opinion, "Hero Of The Day" is the very worst Metallica song, period. Just hearing it evokes images of Kirk Hammett in plastic pants, puffing on an ominously dick-sized cigar with painted fingernails.