Oh, man. I really shouldn't be surprised anymore at how perfect O'Neal's Newswires are, but I always am. This was glorious.

Is it ok to hate TBBT if we found it personally insulting? I wanted to enjoy that show. Lots of my friends love it. I watched about two seasons through growing discomfort until I figured out what was bugging me: the show wasn't laughing with me, it was laughing at me. I don't hate the show because it's stupid, I…

I've never been so ashamed to live in Montana (that's a lie, I've been more ashamed, particularly when a local judge let a teacher who had raped a 14-year-old student who had subsequently committed suicide off on less than a month of jail time).

Oh god, now I can't unsee it!

Oh man, is your username both a Tom Waits and a GoT reference?! That's awesome!

It never gets old when executed well, as Spielbergo just did. I've seen a few cases where it falls flat (not from Spielbergo, though, he's truly the cheap Mexican knockoff master of his craft).

Yeah, there are certain principles in the Bible (such as the general admonition to deny ourselves and focus on serving god) that lend themselves to the suggestion that masturbation probably isn't super Christian, but nowhere is there a clearcut indication that it's an actual sin. In fact, certain of Paul's comments…

Well, the parts about ceremonial purity regarding an issue of semen refer to any issue of semen, whether from masturbation, nocturnal emission, or sex with your wife.

I'm being sorta hyperbolic there: I wouldn't ever actually punch someone for how they look. There are, however, certain facial/hair/styles that do make me irrationally angry.

Funniest thing about people using the Bible to condemn masturbation is that it's not actually mentioned anywhere in the Bible. People often use the account of Onan as proof that masturbation is a sin, but actual Bible scholars usually agree that Onan's sin was not masturbation, but rather his failure to produce heirs…

You're telling me you can look at that mustache and not want to punch the person sporting it?! I mean, facial hair is fine. Just that specific facial hair is douchetastic.

No clue who this guy is, but that facial hair deserves all the face punches.

Let me guess: they're just a problem invented by the White House to distract us from the real issues, like Obamacare and Benghazi?

Dude, that's seriously racist against your own race.

Seriously, there were so many clues that he was joking. And if those clues weren't enough, scrolling down just a few posts should have made it clear where he stands on the issue of whether or not Hannity is a moron.

Boy, you done been Poed.

If I remember the details correctly, though, the only reason the conversations were taped is that he had a long history of saying this kind of horrible shit. It's not like he was randomly recorded. He was recorded because his girlfriend was sick of his shit and decided to make it public.

Sure, but if you're going to say shitty things in private, make sure they stay private. Otherwise, you have no one else to blame when your multi-billion dollar corporation fires you to protect the brand.

Welcome to AV Club. (I say that both condescendingly and sincerely.)

But just as the First Amendment has positive and negative consequences, in that while the government can't prosecute us for saying certain things, they are also unable to prosecute assholes like the WBC, so too the lack of First Amendment protection in the private sector will have pros and cons. But honestly, the…