Oh, you mean, "it was the best of time, it was the blurst of times."

I just want to know how to become a member of The Parents Television Council…finally, there is a group out there that hates Ke$ha as much as I do.

Yeah, maybe Mitchell can give him some quarters.  I don't know….maybe a handful, or so.  (Am I doing this correctly?)

Correction:  Devoured by "octopussies"…..damn, do I have to do all of the heavy lifting around here?

You've got to be shitting me.

Lake Titicaca!

I read what he had to say.  He's just not very "punk" anymore.  He's just kind of confusing.  Must be "age" getting to him.

I really don't like Nicki Minaj…can't we just talk about that, instead?

No…all of you are doing it wrong.  It goes like this:  "Yins guys gone dantan to wartch dem stihlers on chan'l leven at Shirls?"  (FYI—Shirls is a chick who is actually named Cheryl.)

A Wench? Is that what the lady serving me shitty food was trying to be?  I thought she was trying to be a starving college dropout! (which she did really well)

What're you makin'?  Some kinda syrup?

Its not "illegal" to yell fire in a theater….its just constitutional for the government to keep you from yelling fire.

This is a great movie!  And Diane Franklin makes up 50% of why I felt that way growing up.  What a freaking babe.

Steroids don't seem very metal, either.  But it hasn't seemed to have stopped him from going on a cycle or twelve.

I heard this has been yanked from YouTube for content issues.  So, I won't be watching it, then.

So…what are you really trying to say to us?

Exclamation Points!

My grandma always used to say, "if you can't say anything nice…well…then come sit next to me."

I think the appropriate response is:  "that's the internet, folks."

Now I'd pay a dollar to see that!  (As long as I was on acid)