This is great news, my kids have been clamoring for John Wick action figures and playsets for months now. Hopefully the new ones will be out by christmas.

This guy is what Deadpool had in mind when he came up with "shit-spackled muppet fart"

"This candybar tastes like shit!" - Kyle

"Hmm, Mr. Shreve is waving his hand in the bathroom stall very rapidly! We should tell him those doors don't have the RFID opener…"

I don't even own a computer!

What is it with fat guys in stupid hats being unable to finish what they started?

Shitty vampire novels are why i look forward to NaNoWriMo every year!

*Netflix exec dumps a cup of chicken bones into a circle of salt*
And the bones say…. nothing!

And serve pancakes…

The only requirements we had aside from the first dance music was opening with "Everybody needs somebody to love" from the Blues brothers soundtrack and "Hotel Yorba" by the white stripes.

It's not a restaurant, but near where i work there's the Pink Beaver Waxing Boutique.

*watches some Scandinavian black metal videos*

it's spelled "vaginas"

So did Sean Bean!

"A human head weighs 8-9 pounds"

Hilarious?

Like Shaving Ryan's Privates?

Sounds like my kids- oldest, daughter will eat just about anything. She keeps begging me to take her to the mongolian bbq place. My younger son won't eat a damn thing unless it's cheese pizza, mac and cheese, or grilled cheese. Doesn't even care much for sweets.

Yes, and even though it's the Canadian Tuxedo, there's a lot of denim elsewhere too.

Next article- Why Jeff Baker's Kids Eat a Snickers Bar with a Knife and Fork, You Uncultured Rubes!